If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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