he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
