seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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