Just cropdusted the office
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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