we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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