If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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