Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
