In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize