Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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