I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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