so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
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I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
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No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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