I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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