If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
even my farts smell like vagina
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
