The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
