Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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