Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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