so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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