I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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