I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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