his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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