before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
