Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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