When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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