I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
