Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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