I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
