I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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