Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
