mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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