Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
