$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
