What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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