Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dignity is for republicans.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
