You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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