guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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