so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Boobs are out for the taking
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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