Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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