you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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