Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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