Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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