I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
accomplished twins. life is a go
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
