hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
