i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
