I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I AM VODKA MAN
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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