don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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