Nicole vs. Life
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
