I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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