I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
