who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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