i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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