Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
