A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
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Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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