I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
