There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
