Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Watching her eat just hurts me
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
