remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
