i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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