For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
