Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Your mouth is God's brothel.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
