I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I smell like Dick and happiness
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