I'm lost and stupid without you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
