Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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