Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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